UQ Life

Five easy steps for ‘sex’cess

2 Mar 2022

For many people, a new semester and a new year at UQ marks an exciting opportunity to meet new people and explore new things. Along with this excitement can also arise some worry and confusion around sex and relationships.

We want to take the intimidation out of getting intimate with this handy little guide to ‘sex’cess. These steps are important for everyone, regardless of your level of experience. This article might not be for you, and that’s ok. There are many ways to prepare for success at UQ which you can find in other articles in this issue.

The Health Promotion team at Student Services share their advice for leading more fulfilling and successful relationships. Much of the information in this article (and much, much more) can also be found at The University of Queensland’s Sexual and Reproductive Health website.

Step 1: Managing your ‘sex’pectations

Navigating sex and new types of relationships can be really tricky, no matter what age you are. We come from all different upbringings, meaning we have different understandings, and different levels of knowledge, around sex and relationships.

What you enjoy is unique to you, so it’s really important to find a safe environment for you to figure that out on your own terms— this can be by yourself or with a partner/s. The way sex is portrayed in the media can often influence our attitudes and expectations of sex, so keep that in mind when you’re getting intimate.

Step 2: Understanding enthusiastic consent

Whether you’re just starting to have sex, or have had lots of sexual experiences, it’s vital that you revisit consent often to have a clear idea of what it actually is. This is really important because it is not sex without consent. A simple way to remember consent is through the acronym F.R.I.E.S.

Consent is:

  • Freely given: You should not pressure or be pressured into anything sexual through coercion/force, threats, or manipulation, or while under the influence of drugs/alcohol.
  • Reversible: People can change their minds at any time during a sexual experience. It is important to remember this for yourself and for your partner/s
  • Informed: Your partner/s needs to be correctly informed about what they’re consenting to. Be honest and forthcoming about what you’re doing.
  • Enthusiastic: It has to be clear that person is consenting at all times. The absence of a ‘no’ is not consent. “I guess so” or silence are not consent. Consent is a clear and enthusiastic “YES!”.
  • Specific: Consent isn’t ongoing. You need to seek and gain consent every time you engage in sexual activity, including each specific act, at each specific time, and with each specific person.

There is more information about consent over at my.UQ. To get support or to make a report of sexual misconduct, visit the UQ Respect website.

Step 3: Getting tested

Thinking about sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be a bit of a dampener when you’re excited about sex, but in reality it’s just a normal part of being sexually active. You just have to know how to keep yourself and your partner/s protected. How exactly? You guessed it: protection and testing. Discussing protection with your partner/s is really important before engaging in sex.

Remember to:

  • Use a new condom (internal/external) each time you have sex, and when switching what type of sex you’re having i.e. vaginal/oral/anal.
  • Use a dental dam when having oral sex
  • Use water-based lubricant when using a condom
  • Check the use-by dates of the condoms

If you’ve been sexually active, it is important that you get tested before engaging in sex with a new partner. Getting tested is a really quick and simple process. Here’s what you need to know:

  • Get to know what’s involved in testing to ease your worries.
  • Know where to get tested

There is some great information about where to get tested in the Safer Sex page at my.UQ

Step 4: Choosing the right contraception

Contraception gives you the ability to plan if, when, and how you want to become pregnant. There are many different contraceptive methods that can prevent unplanned pregnancies, so check out some of the information from the Safer Sex page and True relationships and reproductive health to find out which options might work for you.

Did you know: The only contraceptive method that can help protect against some STIs is… condoms! Other contraceptive methods can be effective in preventing unplanned pregnancies, however are not effective in protecting against STIs.

Step 5: Got further questions? Talk to an expert

We hope this handy little guide to ‘sex’cess puts you on your way to a healthier and happier sex life. If you want to find out more, check out UQ’s Sexual and Reproductive Health website for more information, links, and resources!

 

From the Health Promotion Team in Student Services

(UQ Respect, UQ Wellbeing, UQ Mental Health)

 

 

 

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